The Z list

The mongoose the hunter and the snake his prey
The snake is venomous, deadly to the mongoose
A writhing wrestling match, one will emerge the Victor, the other will not survive,
And yet one cannot exist without the other
This struggle is endless, for it is only a matter of time before they meet again.

Are you happy, dear reader?

I vlog more often than i used to and that's filled the spot of what this blog used to be. that can be found at http://www.youtube.com/goldkear

what has been going on in my life? not very much to be honest. I'm now working as a server, since part time work allows me to have free time while still doing school. school this semester sucks, all my classes are awful, well one is awful and the others are tolerable. Aside from that my life has been the usual... playing video games, drinking from time to time, and rocking the liz lemon lonely-chic thing.

Strandberg out!

(it doesn't have the same effect)

Instead of writing a bazillion tweets like I have been, I'm just going to blog my various thoughts on what is going on at CTIA. I've been watching it closely waiting for an announcement from verizon regarding the nexus one (so help me god if I have to wait longer for it). while there have been some really awesome phones announced(nexus one is no longer the top phone on the market) I don't think there is any arguing that android is dominating the show so far.

A light exists in spring
Not present on the year
At any other period.
When March is scarcely here

Sometimes I feel like making a new blog post just because I haven't made one in a while. since my last REAL post was almost 3 months ago, I'm long over due. I don't really have a lot to write about, so its going to be short, and in the form of a list. Here's whats going on in my life:

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I'll give to you if you give to me
I always want to hear what's on your mind
And from the other side, can you still answer me
'Cause we'll crave to be understood...yeah

And what I want to say
And what I need to hear
And what I want to feel
Is in those arms

And I'll sing to you if you sing to me
Because I long to hear what's on your heart...yeah

Forget me
I'm tired and wasted
Hopeless and faded
Listless and jaded

Forget me
I'm tired of waiting
I'm still underrated
I'm hopeful but jaded

But just remember
This is a beautiful mistake
I really need you
As our silence starts to break

It's already a fire
Created in all the walls we reached
And I don't know what you want me to be
But I don't want to be perfect anymore

I'll share with you if you share with me
I always want to hear what's on your mind
And from the other side, can you still answer me?
Because I live to speak what's on my heart...yeah

Forget me
I'm tired and wasted
Listless and jaded
Hopeless and faded

Forget me
I'm tired of waiting
Still underrated
But I'm finally awake

Let us remember
Life's such a beautiful mistake
It's precious and fragile
Sometimes more than we can take

It's already a fire
Created in all things men create
And I don't know what you want from me
But I don't want to be perfect anymore

Let us remember
Life's such a beautiful mistake
It's precious and fragile
Sometimes more than we can take

It's stronger than fire
Created in all the walls we reach
Letting go of fault and blame
'Cause I don't want to be perfect anymore

Yeah, I don't want to be perfect anymore
And you don't have to be perfect anymore

But your love, your love, your love, your love
Is perfect just the same

This isn't a blog about video games. shocking, I know. Also kindof a debbie downer, just warning. I'm pretty sure I'm on my period. I've been very mainic-depressive and pissy the past couple days, and its awful.

So I'm at work brooding (my bitch co-worker didn't show up) and I kindof realized something terribly depressing. I'm kindof lonley. I don't mean in that whiney "I'll never fall in love" sort of way, but rather I don't have many freinds. (Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind ending my extreemly long stint of singlehood) I don't know why, I used to have tons of friends. True, some have moved away, and I've had a fallout or two, but I really don't know when I became so unpopular. Alot of it is me, I rarely call people. The longer its been since i've talked to someone, the more akward I feel about doing it, which makes it even harder to reconnect. Also I think I've changed. I used to be so freindly and people loved me. I'd like to blame drinking, since i do alot of that now, but I used to meet people at parties all the time and become fast freinds with them. I don't know what to do about it, but I really wish I could figure it out.

Another woe of mine is money. This has always been a slight worry for me, or at least since getting out on my own, but with christmas approaching, its worse. I really want to be able to buy people [extravagant] presents, but its going to be difficult to afford this year and that makes me sad. I also feel sort of guilty when someone gets me a great present and I can't even muster up a shitty one. Though I am an art student now.... original prints for all!

I'm also kinda bombing at school, but this is 100% my fault. I have some late assignments that i still need to hand in, and i'm just procrastinating. I work well under pressure though, so I should be able to catch up pretty easily.

Trying to think of something happy to report, but I really can't so I guess I'll just leave you with that. If anyone has advice or comments I'd love to hear them. knowing people read my ramblings makes me happy lol.
~Ben

So once in a while I get 3 paychecks a month. My monthly bills are budgeted toward me having only 2 paychecks a month, this means the extra paycheck falls mostly into the 'spending money' category. October couldn't really have been a better month for me to get one of these such paychecks, because i blew a large chunk of it on video games (and some on a Halloween costume). So I am now playing 3 games and trying to juggle them all with work and school. Its pretty glorious.

First off, I got Demon's souls. Even among the gaming community this is kind of an obscure game, though because of good reviews its gained a lot of popularity with little to no advertising. These good reviews are well deserved and I am enjoying this game immensely. Its very difficult, but never 'cheap' nor frustrating. It is a welcome challenge in a world where a lot of games are too easy and too short.

I also picked up Borderlands. This just came out yesterday, so I haven't had a lot of time to invest in it, but so far so good. It is defiantly a first person shooter, but it has a lot of strong RPG elements and even plays a little like an MMO. This is pretty much the opposite of Fallout 3, which for sure an RPG, but it borrows a lot from FPS games. They are also similar in that they are almost like sci-fi and western mash-ups. In borderlands you will encounter localized pockets of randomly generating enemies, fetch quests, green and purple equips, and bonus experience from totally random quests that have no bearing on the story. You'll also find guns. lots of guns. there are uniques, and some enemies carry the same weapons and thus drop the same weapons, but the game has this unique random gun generator that plugs in some variables basically making a gun from millions of possibilities whenever random loot is created, for example random drops or chests. This basically means you'll never find the same gun twice, and chances are you won't have the same gun as anyone you play with/against. This is cool, but irksome to someone like me who always wants to have the best of the best, but in this game there is ALWAYS something better. Also, the ps3 version has a very broken online mode, and if you try it out, you will have to deal with system lock-ups while looking for a game. Apparently once in game its fine, but I haven't had the patience to find this out yet.

Lastly, I'm re-playing Katamari Damacy and We ♥ Katamari. This is because I'm entering a contest and while building my Katamari, i got an itch. My katamari itself is coming along nicely, but progress has slowed down. Its about 4 inches and the objects I'm gluing on are becoming heavy enough that i have to get them to stay and wait for the glue to dry before moving the katamari to glue the next object on. I'm thinking I need some of that super strong epoxy glue that gets your fingers stuck together. If anyone would like to donate objects to my katamari I would be appreciative, I'm starting to run out of stuff, and I'm hoping for a minimum of 3 feet. Please, nothing that will rot and stink up the place.

I had no interest in Uncharted 2, I didn't really like the first one, and I'm assuming the second has very similar gameplay, I keep seeing it everywhere though, and everyone says its really good. Its sorta like this but kinda the opposite, where the game is saying 'play me' and i just say back 'but I know I won't like your gameplay.' anyways, the callings got a lot stronger when I saw this now I really want to play it so I can annoy my twitter followers with random tweets about my game. This probably speaks more about my addiction to twitter than my addiction to video games, but I still like the idea, and I wish more games would have it. I'm certain the tweets say shit like 'I just reached level 20 in Uncharted 2: Among Thives! http://bit.ly/54de4 #uncharted2amongthieves @naughtydog @playstation' (the link re-directing to the official website) and all that extra shit on the end annoys me. I like my tweets simple. Also the grammar would either be perfect or shitty, and obviously not written in a way which that particular person writes. I dunno, in a perfect world I'd like more games to include that, but be able to write my own templates, then just plug in whichever variables apply at that time. example as I would write it: 'playing uncharted 2, just hit level 20'

So thats whats going on in my gaming life. Other than that work is the same, and school has been slow, mainly because about every class is being canceled because all my teachers are sick.

I'm out!
~Ben

Wow, I can't believe I haven't updated in over a month! wtf?! Anyways this is about the annual explosion of great games that will start exploding on store shelves like some sort of explody-thingy

My basic complaint is so many games, so little time (and so little room on the Christmas list) Its obscene. There are no less than 7 games that I *must* have, and with most at $60 a piece, this is quite an expensive endeavor. On top of the games themselves, I also really want a DSi, because a DS lite just won't do anymore.

The onslaught continues after the holiday season with god of war 3, Bayonetta, and not one, but 3 Final Fantasy games coming out in early 2010. Plus who knows what other treasures I've yet to discover for next year. Anyone have a large sum of money they'd like to lend me with no expectations of repayment?

I'd also like to bitch a little bit about professional gaming. I was curious about it tonight so i was investigating a little bit. there is no single defining organization for this, but rather a few. Its a fairly new 'sport' so there are definite organizational issues. I am, however, annoyed with the fact that pro gaming focuses almost solely on fist person shooters. The fact that I'm awful at these aside, I think its a joke that they use such a narrow spectrum of games to define gaming. Last year there was an international tournament that used a fighting game, an FPS, WOW, and a racing game, and each team had to have x number of players for each game, this made much more sense to me. I don't think I'm good enough at any particular game to ever be a pro gamer, so this isn't a personal gripe, but I do think the use of only FPS games by organizations such as major league gaming, and national gaming league is very limiting.

I'd also like to end on a positive note: My bejeweled scores have been ridiculous lately. good for me!
~Ben

So for those that don't know, I'm finally going back to school. I've pretty much been saying this every semester for the past 3 years, but now its happening fo ril ril. I'm both excited and nervous, and I totally can't believe classes start in 3 days. I'm majoring in Art, which if you asked me a year ago what I want to major in, art would be one of the last things I would say. Its not that I have a problem with it, but I always thought it was an impractical degree.

What else is new in my life? Pretty much nothing. I've been working too much (just finished a 9 day stretch). Karla and Sam are back in fargo. That covers it, I think. I have this survey my freind Leigh did. It has some interesting questions, and I haven't done one of these in ages.


Your mom finds used condoms in your room, you tell her?
Nothing. We would probably awkwardly avoid the subject. Though I don't know why she would be in my room...

Your phone is ringing. It's the person you fell hardest for, what do you say?
Hello?

Do you like to wear sweatpants?
I don't own 'sweatpants' but I do love my PJs

Are you wearing them right now?
Nope :D

Did you speak to your father today?
not yet, but there is a good chance I will.

If you HAD to kiss someone right now, who would it be?
whoever is convenient. so Sam I guess.

What do you think about the weather?
horrible. what a crap summer.

Are you ticklish?
Most of the time.

Who's car were you in last?
Ande's

Have you ever slapped someone?
Sure have. gatta keep my hos in line.

How many people do you trust with everything?
I dunno. I'm pretty secretive.

What was the last thing you drank?
Water

Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn't want to be with?
ah yep.

Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Not really. But I miss Joah's face so I wish he didn't live in oklahomo

Name one thing you love about winter?
When it ends.

When showering, do you start the water and then get in, or get in then start the water?
start the water, let it get warm, then get in.

Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
yep lol, almost every time I shower.

Do you moan in the shower like the people on the Herbal Essences commercials?
umm... maybe if I'm having shower sex? lol

Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
yes, but I hate it.

What are your plans for the weekend?
Aztec party... wooo-hoo!

Whats the sexiest thing about Condoleeza Rice?
Her name,lol. And her nappy teef.


Does anything on your body itch right now?
not until I read this question.

Does every family have a crazy uncle?
No, I think crazy aunts are more prevalent. I have several of those.

Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
no, I'd say less so.

Have you ever had sex in a tent?
Only with myself *sad*

What about in a boat?
nope

Canoe...
that'd be interesting...

Have you ever dated a Goth?
No, sick!

Can you fix your own car?
I can check the oil, and change a tire haha.

Do you find it hard to trust others?
Not really, though as mentioned I am secretive

What were you doing at 4am this morning?
wouldn't you like to know ;) (hint-hint.... getting a beej)

Does anyone call you babe or baby?
not really. I suppose gays use terms of endearment pretty loosely though.

How's your most recent ex doing?
I don't really have exs....

Tell me about the shirt you are wearing..
Its peach colored, and has two red spots on either side of the chest.

Would you kiss an ugly person for $1,000?
Um yes, easiest $1k ever

What's the very first thing you do when you wake up?
Try to go back to sleep hah. or check my phone.

What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11?
I think about making a wish, then don't. maybe feel slightly sentimental.

Who was the last person of the opposite sex you had a conversation with?
Samantha I guess.

What are you wearing on your feet?
the floor.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them?
usually.

Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth?
Yep, and google street view. My parents house has a bunch of flamingo's in the front yard lol

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger?
Older

Have you ever found someone you really really really liked?
Of course, but alas......

Does anyone think you are an asshole?
Probably, but I like tho think i'm generally nice and well-liked

You wake up, all your hair is gone, your first reaction?
I dunno. probably shock and confusion.

What are you excited about?
school, the aztec party, getting my paycheck in a bit.

Are you listening to music right now?
no, though my WMP is open... because i was going to listen to music.

Were you happy when you woke up this morning?
no! I don't want to be awake right now (its still AM)

What did you have for breakfast?
nothing yet. but probably cinnamon toast crunch lol

Two days from now this time, where will you be?
hopefully sleeping

Has anyone upset you in the last week?
Yes. that fucking band that rehearses here. god i hate their existence.

Do you believe your ex cares about you?
Again, I lack exs

Are you short?
no, I think I'm the upper end of average.

How long have you been friends with your best friend?
Almost 9 years, I think.

Do you think your wasting your time on the person you like?
I don't 'like' someone right now....

If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
mmmm..... Pizza patrol breakfast pizza.

What are you listening to?
After the music question.... WMP on random (lindsay lohan - Edge of seventeen at the moment)

What is on your bed right now?
3 pillows, my phone, sheets, bed skirt, blanket, my ass, my mouse/makeshift mousepad, keyboard.

What/who woke you up this morning?
Probably the cold

Do you miss anyone?
I miss lots of people.

Will you be in a relationship next month?
I doubt it

Is there anyone in the room with you?
No

Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
I would probably be arrested lol.

When was the last time you saw your mom?
Muh birfday.

Do you think there is someone thinking about you right now?
Probably not.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you?
I dunno. probably I smile most of the time.... though i think i was trying to do a tim gunn 'thinking' pose.

ps. I need a new mouse
~Ben

Hello. I haven't updated in a while, and I've been meaning to for a couple weeks now. I'd just like to give a little update on my life I suppose.

I've been half-assedly looking for a second job all summer. still no luck, but I'm hopeful about an application I filled out for a liquor store. My hours have kinda sucked lately at Holiday Inn, mainly because the lady that works opposite of me hasn't asked me to fill in for her in a while, which used to bring me up to full time hours almost every week. This of course has lead to a lack of money and a lot of stress surrounding bills etc. Its really exhausting.

In other depressing news, I haven't been sleeping right. I don't know what it is, but its starting to affect my health, which is not good. I've had a sore throat for almost two weeks now and haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep each day. It could be stress related, even though I don't really think about my problems when I'm in bed. It could also just be that sleeping during the day when its 80 degrees out is just impossible. Either way I need to figure out a solution asap.

I also just realized, as I was sitting at the table while a brothel party wound down, I really don't much care for a lot of the people that hang out here now. Its not that I dislike them, but I just find many of them uninteresting. These are all people that AJ invites, which is fine, but obviously since I'm fairly ambivalent on their presence, they're not my friends. Don't worry though, if you're reading this you're not any of the people that I'm referencing (most likely anyways). Anyways, its not that I dislike them being here either, but I'm not going to go out of my way to make conversation when they are here. Though I'm sure if i got to know them they are nice people. The somewhat ironic twist to this is I've recently decided (read: 15 minutes ago) that I would really like to meet some new people.

As far as boys go: I guess I'd also like to meet new people on that front. I was kinda silly and gave up on a good thing without really giving it a good chance. I kinda regret being an asshole about it, but I don't regret this almost-relationship ending since I didn't want to get into something I wasn't fully invested it because that's not really fair. I kinda feel that right now I need to get laid (maybe that'll help me sleep lol) and then get back into the love game. I actually have had my eye on a hottie thats been at the last couple brothel parties, but i hardly know him and he's so deep in the closet he's finding next year's christmas presents (Samantha if you read this: your 3rd wife's (the one after me) wife is who i'm referencing).

What else is new with me? hmm... not much. Been playing a lot of video games (haha, since when is that new) I've gotten back into fallout 3, and I might actually finish it this time instead of just wandering around wasting time. I've been trying to find this obscure game, but none of the video stores have it (and i'm too poor to buy it) its been getting really great reviews and has a pretty good cult following. I guess i'll just have to set aside some money and just buy it eventually.

Well I think that about wraps it up. nice long update on my life I suppose. Sorry its so depressing though. Maybe writing it out will help release some stress :)

~Ben

My last blog post from yesterday morning was titled 'What the ham sandwich?!' because this woman in my hotel said it in confusion, and I thought it was funny. I wanted to use it for my title because I was going to describe a strange dream I had. I never described the dream, but I am right now.

I had a strange dream the other day while taking me pre-work nap. It started out I got a phone call from this girl I went to High School with. This girl and I were not friends, but we weren't enemies either. She invites me to a party at her house, which I gladly accept. Upon arrival at this house (mind I have no idea what her house looks like or where it is) I go inside and see another girl from high school who was also in theater. She was a nice girl in high school, but in this dream she was a bitch. I see a co-worker there, and I say 'What are you doing here' to which the second girl says 'everyone knows him, duh!' I explain I only recently met him when I started working at the Holiday Inn, and she continues to antagonize me about how I didn't already know him nor did I know that he knew these people.
I then turn around to find a person whom I only know via facebook, and I'm about 99% sure doesn't know any of the aforementioned people, yet it is his birthday party, hosted at this girls house whom I went to high school with.
Here's where the dream really starts getting weird. I start decorating a cake that was sitting on the floor with that gel-like frosting stuff and the girl who is hosting keeps asking if I'm going to eat all that, to which I keep replying 'yes, of course.' somewhere in the process of decorating the cake, I become the cake and am decorating myself (not as dirty as it sounds) while the host is still asking me if I'm going to eat all that. Then I get up and I am no longer the cake, but the cake is on the floor again. We all sit around and eat the frosting off the cake and then go play pool. the end.
What do I think this dream was about? I secretly want to be an actual birthday cake for someone I don't know (again, not as dirty as it sounds.)

Since I went through the effort of making a whole new blog post to write about what my last blog post was supposed to be (whew), I'm going to vent a little. I seem to be encountering these things a lot lately. They all have one thing in common, They are things I hate.
*Twilight etc. - I seriously have no interest in this, and the more I hear about it the less I care. I just don't get why its popular.
*Mac people (Sorry tweeps) - Seriously, every single minute update is not a gift from god. I mean really... 'more reliable disc eject' is that even a feature?!
*Internet Forums - internet anonymity turns people into assholes. 'nuff said.
*Not being able to remember what I was going to write about - This list was longer a couple hours ago.

On a side note: My ass hurts from sitting on the coffee table. I had to charge my ps3 controller, so i couldn't sit on the couch. several hours later, sitting down is still painful.
Another side note: the word random is overused and often misused, I think I'm going to say 'unexpected' instead.

~Ben

I've been Procrastinating this post... Birthday/E3/etc.

My birthday was last Wednesday. I turned 22. I had a pretty good time out with some friends, and my parents came to visit me on Saturday. I love my birthday, but 21 is really the last exciting year you get. All in all, it was a good time, though not much more exciting than any other night out, aside from me getting free things and presents.

E3 was also last week and it was really hyped up, but there weren't any great announcements. Over all I was pretty disappointed, but everyone seems to be talking about the new motion controllers. Sony and Microsoft still don't get it. They are both coming out with motion controllers, but they don't seem to understand that the wii is popular because of novelty. I really don't think the motion controllers will be successful on either system. Project Natal from Microsoft definitely stole the show this year, but I'm really skeptical of how well it works. Plus its really not that original... Ps2's eye toy anyone? Its really just an extremely advanced version of that.
Other things at E3 that caught my attention are the psp go, some actual good games for wii, and the very shocking Final Fantasy XIV. I mean FFXIII doesn't even have a release date yet!

I can't believe prototype is coming out in like, a day. I'm not really done with inFamous yet, but I've always been more excited for prototype. Its weird that I was in such a gaming lull for like 2 months and now I have 2 games that I can't seem to find time to play.

Thats all for now. I'm sleepy
~Ben

I have a few things to talk about, so this one might get a little long. so, let's get started!

First off: Infamous. I picked it up yesterday morning, played around with it a bit, but didn't get too deep in. I do know this: I'm excited to play some more. My first impressions leave a few small complaints, but nothing major. the first is that the in-engine cut scenes leave lots to be desired. the character moments during these scenes are very stiff and jerky, they remind of psychonauts. Also with the animation: while the game play animations are smooth and nice looking, they are very animalistic and I wonder if sucker punch just recycled a lot of animations from sly cooper? I can definitely see that being the case both with in game and cut scene animations. the game looks fine otherwise, and the non-engine cut scenes are in this really cool comic book style art that i just want to watch over and over. I'm also not totally sold on the story so far. I mean terrorists? Can't we come up with something a little less... bush administration? gamespot promises the story is excellent, so i guess I'll have to spend more time with it to know for sure. Aside from these complaints the game is very good, and it is fun, which is all that really matters in the end, right?

speaking of gamespot, i saw this on their homepage, and thought "dayum, poison ivy is fucking hotttt!" haha, here ya go:


Now, just for fun, I was sent a series of random questions, and asked to answer them on my blog.
*What was your favorite TV show when you were in grade school? power rangers, of course.
*If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? the x-mansion would be pretty wicked.
*What's your favorite Web site? I have a few I haunt pretty regularly. Facebook, The Superficial, and Giant Bomb come quickly to mind.
*What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? 2 Wednesdays ago, I went to Grand Forks to visit my bestie before she moved.
*What's the best costume you've ever worn? I'm pretty proud of Marge Simpson when i was in middle school.
*What's your least favorite word? I don't really have any words that really bother me, but I'm not a fan of the word 'cock'
*What's your favorite infomercial? I don't really watch TV, since I don't have cable. but the snuggie ones are always ridiculous.
*What is the worst job you've ever had? Definitely working in a call center for NY times. I didn't hate it from day 1, the training was OK. but the customers were all so crabby about something so trivial.
*What is the dumbest purchase you've ever made? if you mean the biggest waste of money, that would probably be my second ps3. even after selling my first one i ended up spending far more on a backward compatible ps3 than just buying a new ps2. if you mean the lamest thing I've spent money on, there have been many, but I would have to say magic cards. I never got too deep into that, but lets face it, they're lame.

so there ya have it. If anyone would like to ask me more random/serious/whatever questions feel free, I'm pretty much an open book, but i won't answer anything too vulgar in such public forum. I'll also probably have another post coming up, because I did cut some things out because they seemed out of place/made the entry too long. so until then...
~Ben

I'm going to attempt to NOT write about video games today. I doubt I'll succeed, we'll see.

First of all, my birthday is soon! yaaayyyyyy! I love my birthday. If anyone wants to come celebrate, well... go ahead! We'll be going to dinner, bar hopping, and partying at the brothel, and since I like attention, everyone is welcome, but obviously minors can't come bar hopping, and there won't be anyone at the brothel in the mean time.. sooo i guess if you wanna join us after the bar, that's cool. also dinner is open too. I'm so excited! I hope its a good one :)

other news: I'm officially moved into the brothel. Its pretty rad. Kristen is still moving in and Karla's away most of the summer, so right now its just AJ and I. Its so weird to be living there. I still kinda feel like a guest, but even when I didn't live there I pretty much acted like I did so I guess its not that weird, ha. I couldn't get my box spring up the stairs so right now I just have a mattress. It's so ghetto and trashy. My father may be bringing me a split box spring from home when he visits me (FOR MY BIRTHDAY! -- I also hope my mom can come)

Dating: Still single. not that that's anywhere near news anymore. I have been talking to/meeting lots of new guys lately. so we'll see if anything comes of that.

My new obsession: Glee! Its this new fox show that I'm really psyched about. the pilot is on hulu, but unfortunately, the rest of the season doesn't start till the fall.

I could talk about inFamous (the demo was good) but I'll wait till the game comes out on tuesday.

Bisies! ~Ben

I have a problem, and that is I own a ps3. Aside from the fact that it is a very expensive system to own, I want to hate it, but I just can't help loving it. every night. The exact the contra positive is true with my wii.

The problem i have with loving the wii is, of course, the games. or lack thereof I should say. the hardware is fascinating and fun to play with but there's only so much you can take of wii sports. there are some great games on the wii, some of which i haven't played yet (super Mario galaxy, world of goo). But the vast majority of wii games are shovelware, mass produced to make a quick buck off of the wii's popularity. Not only that, but there are very few games for the wii that are good. With only 8 games having scores of 90 or more 3 of which are ports and one is wiiware. its great that a wiiware game can be that good, but its kind of sad when a budget indie game can beat out most of the disc-based games. The other 4 are first- or second- party games, which, lets face it, Nintendo has pretty much become a shrine to itself. Most of the great games on nintendo systems from N64 onward have been developed by nintendo or one if its subsidiary companies. The other end of the spectrum shows almost 100 games with scores of less than 50

This being said, I will gladly lend my voice to the choir singing to nintendo: Where's the games?!

~Ben

Update: Perhaps I should explain my love/hate for PS3: in a nutshell it represents everything I hate about the gaming community. the least of which is not the 'graphics over gameplay' mentality that too many people have. Also the ps3 has a ridiculous amount of shooters, which I'm horrible at (especially the first-person variety). But looking at numbers alone: 12 games with scores of 90+ and only about 30 with scores of less than 50.

Today I was reading old blogs of mine. Its really weird doing this, and seeing how I've changed and grown. It's also surreal to remember stuff that I'd otherwise long forgotten.

One of those blogs (and I've already tweeted this) had this thing from memegen, basically you just fill in different fields and it randomly generates results based on certain algorithms or something... so if you type the same thing you always get the same result, but even one character different (including capitalization since they are different on a character map), you get different results. Anyways there was one that all I did was put in my first name and it said my career was going to be a graphic designer. This is really weird reading that because at the time i wanted to be a paleontologist, but now I'm going to go into graphic design.

I've also came to the conclusion that I really want to get back into dating again. I haven't really been adverse to the idea, but nor have I put any effort forth. so yea, we'll see where that develops

Death is strange when you aren't sure what you believe. Today was my grandma's funeral, its the closest I've ever had to death. It's tragic, but I mostly feel a strange emptiness more than sadness.

I was planning this entry on the drive back home for the funeral, but now I don't even know what to write. This is further complicated by the death of my former neighbor, whom I used to play with on the daily when I was a kid. I'm at a total loss of what to say.

RIP Grandma, I love you, and you will be missed.
RIP Casey, you always were a great friend.

Since I haven't made a post in a while, and I actually have many things I have wanted to talk about this might get a little long and somewhat disjointed. I've divided everything up with bullets so if the first few words don't catch your interest, skip it! let's get started!

· The new facebook: Facebook recently underwent another major overhaul, and I hate it! Now, I'm not one of those people who hates change just because its different, I actually have reasons to back it up. Last time facebook made a big change a lot of people were upset, but they were only upset because they weren't used to it, and after some time came to realize it was more organized.
The latest incarnation of Facebook just isn't very functional. It reminds me of twitter, which works great for twitter with facebook you have this scrolling page of status updates dotted with quick mentions of other points of interest such as notes or wall posts and everything else such as groups, events, and photos shoved to the side. It really is a mess and makes it hard to find anything specific. I now find myself going on facebook to check my notifications and messages instead of my usual random clicking about in search of points of interest.

· Totally unrelated, Metal Gear Solid 4: First of all, this is going to be somewhat of a review, so if you haven't played it and plan on it, skip this section because there will be spoilers. Secondly, if you aren't afraid of spoilers, read some reviews. Now after reading those (or maybe just skimming) every bit of praise for the game is true. Its a tasty little morsel that i fully recommend to all gamers. So instead of repeating what they have written, just know that I fully agree with them and am going to be bringing up some negative points.
First of all, and beautiful as the graphics are some scenes are ruined by some minor flaws. cast shadows are often jagged and jittery which can prove very distracting, especially in the final scene in the graveyard (note: this may or may not be due to playing the game on my not-so-big SD TV). Also water effects have come a disappointingly short distance since the days of ps1. the spraying and splashing around a large ship is about on par with the FMV scenes in final fantasy 8, which were simplistic at best. aside from those details the game has probably the best graphics I've ever seen.
[spoiler city ahead] Another point, and this is mentioned in the is the game can be confusing to newcomers, which is partially true. I never played a MGS game prior to this, so the impact of some of the scenes was totally lost on me, and the political nature of some of the dialogue confused me, though this is mainly because politics in general confuse me. That aside there are other story points that are just ridiculous. Raiden should have died about 3 different times yet is alive AND has both arms at the end despite losing both at some point. Also with Raiden, please explain how he single-handedly stopped a charging submarine. Various other characters should probably have died within the game, especially snake and maybe Meryl/Johnathan. Snake's survival after crawling along a radiated hallway by some miracle drug which not only kept him alive but gave him the strength to do some serious kung fu. Anyways, I'm ranting now, but just be prepared for some serious WTF moments with this game. Also the final scene really drags on.

· Also in the gaming realm, I just want to touch on the concept of games without a HUD. Dead space (which I haven't played out of fear instilled upon me by the reactions of the gaming community) totally lacks a HUD, instead all the information you need is displayed on your character its a really neat idea that certainly improves immersion factor, but I feel that important bits of information may be missing. Another game that uses a similar concept is Afro Samurai. This, rather than lending to immersion, helps more to boost the art factor. the closer to death you are, the bloodier you (or your enemies) become. also a simple jewel dangling from Afro's sword tells you about focus gauge and experience. this is a really interesting concept that definitely won't work with all games, but I still hope to see more of in the future.

*whew* still with me? I think that's about everything I wanted to write about for now. so until next time...
~Ben

(PS. I know my grammar and punctuation probably sucks here, but its too much work to fix it now.)