The Z list

Hello. I haven't updated in a while, and I've been meaning to for a couple weeks now. I'd just like to give a little update on my life I suppose.

I've been half-assedly looking for a second job all summer. still no luck, but I'm hopeful about an application I filled out for a liquor store. My hours have kinda sucked lately at Holiday Inn, mainly because the lady that works opposite of me hasn't asked me to fill in for her in a while, which used to bring me up to full time hours almost every week. This of course has lead to a lack of money and a lot of stress surrounding bills etc. Its really exhausting.

In other depressing news, I haven't been sleeping right. I don't know what it is, but its starting to affect my health, which is not good. I've had a sore throat for almost two weeks now and haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep each day. It could be stress related, even though I don't really think about my problems when I'm in bed. It could also just be that sleeping during the day when its 80 degrees out is just impossible. Either way I need to figure out a solution asap.

I also just realized, as I was sitting at the table while a brothel party wound down, I really don't much care for a lot of the people that hang out here now. Its not that I dislike them, but I just find many of them uninteresting. These are all people that AJ invites, which is fine, but obviously since I'm fairly ambivalent on their presence, they're not my friends. Don't worry though, if you're reading this you're not any of the people that I'm referencing (most likely anyways). Anyways, its not that I dislike them being here either, but I'm not going to go out of my way to make conversation when they are here. Though I'm sure if i got to know them they are nice people. The somewhat ironic twist to this is I've recently decided (read: 15 minutes ago) that I would really like to meet some new people.

As far as boys go: I guess I'd also like to meet new people on that front. I was kinda silly and gave up on a good thing without really giving it a good chance. I kinda regret being an asshole about it, but I don't regret this almost-relationship ending since I didn't want to get into something I wasn't fully invested it because that's not really fair. I kinda feel that right now I need to get laid (maybe that'll help me sleep lol) and then get back into the love game. I actually have had my eye on a hottie thats been at the last couple brothel parties, but i hardly know him and he's so deep in the closet he's finding next year's christmas presents (Samantha if you read this: your 3rd wife's (the one after me) wife is who i'm referencing).

What else is new with me? hmm... not much. Been playing a lot of video games (haha, since when is that new) I've gotten back into fallout 3, and I might actually finish it this time instead of just wandering around wasting time. I've been trying to find this obscure game, but none of the video stores have it (and i'm too poor to buy it) its been getting really great reviews and has a pretty good cult following. I guess i'll just have to set aside some money and just buy it eventually.

Well I think that about wraps it up. nice long update on my life I suppose. Sorry its so depressing though. Maybe writing it out will help release some stress :)

~Ben